I’ve been a bit confused this past couple of months about whether or not the people around me fully understand the person I am today. It feels like I’m having a perpetual migraine trying to escape a mold that I didn’t even realize I was in till now. I’d like to continuously grow and allow myself to become a version of me that I always dream of but that’s hard to do when people only see me as.. a constant version of what I was 2 or more years ago.
Sometimes I catch myself giving explanations that mostly sound like I’m “trying to convince myself” because it seems no one is listening. Why can’t I convince you without feeling like each word gradually sends me into a vacuum?
I am VERY confused. But. I’m also unwilling to put myself in a position to feel like an outsider in a place I supposedly belong. These days I can do without the unfamiliar company and put away the stale personalities I’m no longer compatible with.
More and more, I’ve accepted how easy it is to outgrow people and how therapeutic a change of scenery is for my mental.
Ridding myself of people I don’t need now doesn’t negate who they were to me back then. I didn’t expect to stay the same and you shouldn’t have expected that of me either.